By Keegan Leary
Have you ever wondered if the caterpillar knows that they will become a butterfly? That would be kind of nice to know. I feel like there would be things on my caterpillar bucket list. I’d want to go out in the rain once or twice.
Have you ever seen a butterfly in the rain? Actually, new question. Have you ever seen a live butterfly in the rain? I’ll tell you what, you haven’t, and I’ll tell you why. Butterflies don’t vibe in the rain. The rain gets all caught up on their dainty little wings. Water and paper wings… bad combo.
I don’t have to worry about this stuff though. Do you know why? I’m a worm. I know what you’re thinking. Yuck. Worms. Lame. Well you know what, not everyone can be a caterpillar.
There are definitely positives to being a worm. One is that we are good for the environment. That’s pretty chill. It’s not like I mind or anything, I was going to eat the soil anyway. It’s kind of my one purpose in life.
I do not have eyes. Pros: I don’t have to look at you all day. Cons: none.
My mouth is also my butt. Seriously, what more do I have to say, obvious pro. I’ve been told I’m a great sh*t talker.
If I ever need a friend I can rip myself in half and BAM new buddy. That is science. It’s also me showing initiative and problem solving abilities. I’ve learned I don’t need anyone but myself, literally, because my other half body is my twin.
I can play in the rain. Butterflies can’t do that. I love the rain. It makes the soil nice and moist. It is pretty dangerous though. I can never tell if I’m above ground or not in the rain (no eyes remember). Lots of my friends get run over by cars, eaten by birds, or stranded in the rain. Not me though, I’m a survivor. My back half once got stepped on, but I just walked it off. That brings me to my next point.
I have no legs, so I didn’t walk it off. That’s a good thing. You have to count on legs to get you where you need to go. Not me. I don’t have to count on anyone but myself.
Early bird gets the worm. This is kind of hurtful if I’m being honest. Not my favorite saying.