By Michael Studley
“When are we ever going to use this in real life?”
I always ask my math teacher, “When are we ever going to use this in real life?”
She always changes the topic.
As if she doesn’t have an answer.
“Odd,” I think. Surely she, of all people, should know.
As I’m walking home, I cut through an alley.
It’s not very clean there, and it smells like cheap incense.
Suddenly, a man puts me into a deathly tight grip.
He holds a cheap plastic spoon to my neck and asks:
“What are the non-complex solutions of 35×8+3×4-5×3-3=5??”
I wish I had paid attention in math class now.
I say, “Seven???”
He lets go, and says, “You’re an idiot.
Anyone would know that the solutions are approximately -0.775573 and 0.849622.”
I shook my head. He looks at me as if I just insulted his mother.
“You don’t pay attention in class?”
I say, “No! Who would ever need to know this?”
I then dash for the street
and get back to my apartment.
The next day, I tell the story to my teacher.
While everyone else gapes, the teacher simply says,
“I told you so.”
What a legend.