By: Emily Cavanaugh
I haven’t tried counting the stars in the sky since I was a kid. I remember the pure exhilaration I felt laying down in the grass, staring up at the speckled sky. I remember how nothing really mattered, I had lived a carefree life. Nothing had mattered until suddenly, everything changed. See, everything matters now: it’s as if every little mistake follows you around, planted on the permanent record, those records marking your every move. It sucks, you’re practically defined by your mistakes in high school. So far there’s been so much stress and late nights of working hard to turn things in. I hold my breath every time I check Aspen, the fear of actually facing my grades is immense.
I think that I’m exaggerating though, as high school isn’t that bad. It’s actually a lot better than middle school, there’s much more freedom yet more responsibility. Some would argue that responsibility is bad, but I think that it’s healthy. Being a freshman is different, but maybe in a good way.
Walking into the first day of freshman year was one of the scariest moments of my life. There is so much built up about high school and the rumors you’ve heard. Everything is just so overwhelming. It wasn’t bad though, the upperclassmen don’t really care about anything. It was the first day back and they seemed like they were already done with school. Also, the high school is much bigger than Cole, on the first day I got lost about 6 times. I thought I knew my way, but that wasn’t the case. I think it was just adjusting that got my peers and I so mixed up because actually being settled in, you realize that it isn’t that confusing to get from class to class.
Something that is confusing is how I study so hard but fail to receive the grade that I had hoped for. I strive to do great, but it often results in the disappointment when I fail to meet my own expectations. Checking Aspen is a roller coaster: the anticipation of going through each class and reviewing what had happened is a nightmare as I am faced with all that I have done. I guess this is how it will be for the next few years, stressed out about grades, but I think that is how life is. It seems as though everyone is stressed out about something, you just have got to find the right way to deal with it.
I met some girls who were older on the volleyball team and they really helped me. I learned that I didn’t have to be so stressed about everything and that I probably shouldn’t procrastinate on assessments. They taught me how one grade isn’t going to affect your overall semester that much if you make a mistake on homework or a quiz. I was taught to appreciate the high school as a place where you can make friends and have responsibility. It’s a place for kids to grow up.
When I was little I used to try to count the stars in the sky. I’d usually give up once I got to 50 because I couldn’t count very high out loud without messing up. Being a kid was one of the best things in the world. Sadly, you can’t stay a kid for very long and you don’t really appreciate the times you had until they’re gone. Growing up seems like a pain, but if the next 4 years of growing up are going to be exactly how high school has been going so far, I think I won’t mind it.